Grammargrams Issue 2

by Mary Kay Murray

Use Informal American English

Your goal is to write standard informal American English (assuming you're American). Issue #1 dealt with standard English; this issue is about informal American English.

Refresher Course—Types of English

Don't confuse informal English with other kinds of English:

Standard English is the opposite of bad English. It involves rules for grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
Informal English is the opposite of formal English. It's a tone.
American, Canadian, Indian, and other national versions of English are slightly different from British English—usually just a few changes in vocabulary, grammar, and usage, but sometimes also in tone.

Always use standard English or you'll sound like a dolt. Don't use formal English or you'll sound, well, too formal.

Let Your Ear Be Your Guide

When it comes to tone and voice, always remember this: your audience would rather be talking to a real person. Try to sound like that person when you address your users:

They're not your buddies, so don't use slang or bad English.
They're not Supreme Court justices, so don't be formal.
They're strangers who need your help, so be informal and polite

It's easier than you'd think. Don't irritate your readers or show off.

Formal, Informal, and Way Too Informal

You wear different clothes in different settings: work, leisure, sports, formal events, etc. You don't wear a tux or evening gown in your cubicle, so don't use formal language when you write. You don't wear board shorts to the office, so don't use slang in your writing.

Pretend you're talking to your boss, the head of the Tulsa sales office, or your wealthy grandfather—someone whose status is slightly higher than yours, or whose opinion counts.

If You Wouldn't Say It, Don't Write It

Formal English is almost never appropriate in writing, so don't use it. Use the conventions of literate spoken English: contractions, first and second person, and clearly constructed sentences.

The way you sound friendly and helpful depends on your audience. If your audience is technical, go ahead and use the technical terms that are common in that field; otherwise, use plain words. If humor is appropriate with your audience, use it…appropriately. Just don't confuse or annoy your readers.

You're a Fine Stylist, But…

Remember, it's not about you. If you want to be an artiste, you'll probably have to buy a beret and start writing poems.

At work, your writing style should be virtually invisible. What you write should seem like the one clear and easy way to deliver your message. If your audience comes away thinking about your style instead of the message, you've failed.

Say It, Then Stop

A true story from your editor—when I was in the 5th grade and Mrs. Hosmer made us write a 100-word essay about the Statue of Liberty, I cheated. To bump up my word count and finish sooner, I used long elaborate sentences and all the other padding I could think of. It didn't fool Mrs. Hosmer, and it made for terrible reading. When I tried the same dumb* trick as a college freshman, the professor wrote this on my paper: "Your technical mastery of the English language is matched only by your poverty of intellect." Busted!*

You don't have a minimum word count. Instead, use the minimum number of words to make things clear. If you force people to wade through your text, they won't. They'll just stop visiting your website.

Keep It Easy

Another true story—on a new application for general use, the prompt said "Hit ENTER to move on" on some pages, "Hit SPACE BAR to move on" on others, and "Hit CONTROL-SHIFT to move on" on still others. Asked why, the designer said, "We want to keep people on their toes."

No no no! Your job isn't to limit your customer base to those who are smart enough to deserve you. You want all the customers you can get, regardless of intellect. Never mess with their minds or try to "improve" them this way.

Write English, Not Latin or German

When you have a choice between words with English and Latin origins, use the English. In general, words with roots in Norman, Pictish, Anglo-Saxon, and other English source languages are shorter than words derived from Latin and romance languages, and latinate words can sound pretentious if there's a clear English alternative. Similarly, use the sentence structure of spoken English. Latin and German are great languages, but they're not ours.

Never Show Off

The size of your vocabulary doesn't matter. Our native languages are full of simple, common words, so use them. You won't impress readers by using words that are unfamiliar, long, or ornate. They'll just think you're conceited.

Another true story from your editor—a senior manager at work insisted on using the British spellings of words like "colour." Nobody was British—not him, not the rest of us, not our customers. He said he did it because the British way seemed "classier." What a twit.

*DISCLAIMER—DON'T USE "BUSTED" IN YOUR WRITING AT WORK

These GrammarGrams are written in colloquial English, because this is a very friendly website and we're talking to fellow designers. In your job, use standard informal English, as if you're talking to your grandfather or the CEO of your company. Don't say "dumb" or "busted" like I did, because they're slang and your boss won't like it. If you're in advertising, though, slang away!